Explicit language

Explicit sexual scenery: bondage, orgies, public indecency, oral sex in catacombs, BDSM club participation, double penetration, kink exploration, swords crossing, etc.

FMC kidnapped by vampires & fed on

Gore 3-5/10: detailed dismemberment + murder + lots of bloodshed

spice: 6/10

darkness: 3-5/10

There’s an HEA, and although this list seems intense, I promise it’s still humorous and not nearly as dark as The Glitching.